My friends and I are always preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. Whether we are plotting who will be in charge of acquiring which supplies, or arguing over who should be in our survival team (one must possess demonstrably useful skills, be easy to put up with for the rest of our lives, and pass one easy test), it is always at least at the back of our minds. But I realized yesterday that we have overlooked a potential zombie scenario - and we all know that overlooking such scenarios is what gets people killed. So, below are the 5 reasons Easter is terrifying.
1. Jesus rose from the grave. And what do we call someone who is buried and manages to claw their way out of what is supposed to be their final resting place? That's right, a zombie.
2. He brought other dead people with him. Matthew 27:52-53 "The tombs were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; and coming out of the tombs after His resurrection they entered the holy city and appeared to many." In other words, the death and resurrection of Jesus unleashed a plague of zombies on Jerusalem.
3. Even that wasn't the first time Jesus had caused zombies. Ever hear of Lazarus? Yeah, he'd been dead 4 days before Jesus turned him into a zombie.
4. It's in the Old Testament too. Ezekiel 37:14 "Then you, my people, will know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves and bring you up from them." Wait, you mean that zombification has been the plan all along? Sounds like it to me.
5. He's planning on coming back and making MORE zombies. Check out 1Thessalonians 4:16 "For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first." That's right kiddos, Jesus is planning on coming back - and he's bringing zombies!
So, next time someone says "Happy Easter" to you, just remember that they're really wishing you a happy zombie apocalypse.
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